The Lands Between are a truly brutal and unforgiving place, full of terrifying monsters and hideous beasts around every corner. FromSoftware have become famous for their graphic and ferocious enemies andgruesome bosses, expanding their repertoire of wicked creations further than ever withElden Ring.
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But you know what Miyazaki and his team don’t get enough credit for? Making absolutely adorable little buddies. Critters so cute you call your partner into the room to look at them while making puppy dog eyes. Here are the sweetest little guys inElden Ringthat are so lovable, we’d rather fight alongside them, or not fight them at all.
We know plenty of these mobs are available to summon as Spirit Ashes, and to that we say: they do not count. We wantpermanentfamiliars and we want them now.
10Oracle Envoys
I, too, am a Goofy Goober
The first thought we had was “how am I supposed to hit somebody that’s literally shaped like a snowman?” The second thought was “Oh great, now they’re blowing bubbles! How are we supposed to become Elden Lord when there are bubbles to be blown?”
It’s hard to take down such a friend-shaped character, literally just taking the form of two big bubbles stacked on top of each other. Their slow movement would be a hassle, sure, but the Oracle Envoys would get a spot on our squad of besties anyways.
9Every Dog
You CAN’T pet the dogs?!
Does every single dog in the game attack you unprovoked? Yes. Does that stop us from wanting to give the good boys and girls their pets? Absolutely not. There are, frankly, far too many dogs and far too many emotes in Elden Ring for it to be acceptable to not be able to pet a single one.
Whether it be dogs, wolves, a direwolf or even our Funko Pop!-proportioned friends, the Monstrous Dogs (we’d even let the Runebears apply for part-time dog citizenship), we just want to help them fulfill their duty as humankind’s best friend. We’d take a runebear with a collar on at this point.
8Merchant’s Donkey
Never has a steed been more noble
Despite being some sort of immortal, deity-caliber entity, Torrent can’t seem to carry anything other than the Tarnished on his back. Enter: the Merchant’s Donkey, the most handsome walking container you’ll ever lay eyes on (sorry, Alexander the Warrior Jar).
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Whether he acts as a mount or just another member of the Elden squad, there’s no doubt in our mind that a way to further organize your loot inElden Ring(a gameoverflowing with unique items) would be extremely clutch. Plus, Torrent could use a friend that gets his sense of humor.
7Small Living Jar
Jar Bairn, Elden Lord
The tale of Alexander the Warrior Jar is as beautiful as it is inspiring, journeying across The Lands Between and defeating great enemies previously thought invincible. But you know what would be even more inspiring? If Alexander made such great achievements while standing at only a foot tall.
And so begins (we hope) the tale of Jar Bairn, Alexander’s smaller living jar nephew who players get to see take on the family mantle and set off to become an adventurer. We do have an alternative if we can’t find a way to make our little jar friend a companion: a standaloneJar Bairnspin-off game. Think about it, Miyazaki.
They’re just trying to work!
Cursed for eternity to endure the same fate as that of the great titan Prometheus, each and every one of these brave little insects earns a spot on our dream roster. No nobler a hero may truly exist throughout The Lands Between than these miniscule treasure-couriers.
Now imagine having one of these guys on your side. The Elden Lord to-be sending him on adorable missions to find supplies to help our cause, getting into his own adventures along the way to be sure. He could also just roll the ball at some enemies; either way works for us.
5Blue Worm
Not many creatures have a face so emotionally potent that it causes others to make the exact same face back at them. But the Blue Worm fromShadow of the Erdtreeis no ordinary creature and we could have staring contests while doing their little “whistling face” for hours on end
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On top of being adorable, the Blue Worm is a gold mine of untapped potential. Imagine the raw power they’ll wield once they break free from the ground and are able to roam free. We would be lucky to have such a beautiful beast fight alongside us, even for but a moment.
4Lookout Stones
We know you’ll be a beautiful stone butterfly someday
Admittedly, it took us way too long to realize that these strings of rocks actually had an eyeball in the front. This also may very well be the only mob inElden Ringthat actually blinks its eyes, which either makes him, or every other creature in the game, way more disturbing (we’re gonna give the title of “creepiest” to the side with the Fingercreepers).
Gravity-based magic attacks and shape-shifting abilities would absolutely come in handy in the journey of a Tarnished in The Lands Between. Maybe they can even sneak us into some secret Evergaols we haven’t been to yet.
3Giant Lightning Sheep
FromSoftware’s Legendary Pokemon OC
It was weird enough when the sheep in this game went full “Phantom Menace Droideka”-mode and started rolling across the hills in never-ending somersaults. But someone at FromSoftware must have received a vision from beyond the limits of our reality, bringing into the world the extra-large, electricity-infused mega sheep.
“How did some of they get so big? Why are they able to shoot lightning? I still don’t get how they roll like that.” None of these mysteries are of any importance to us. Deploying the Lightning Ram Ash of War alongside one of these beautiful creatures in combat would be truly life-changing.
2Man-Serpent
A case of a contagious smile
One look at this guy and we know for sure that he’s the life of every party. That cute toothless smile could get him through the toughest of obstacles (although a Mad Pumpkin Head might not be able to see it with that big golden gourd covering his eyes).
Honestly, we thought he was just happy to see us when we first encountered a Man-Serpent in the depths of Volcano Manor. We’d hit the Warm Welcome gesture and wait for a scaly embrace anytime a Man-Serpent is looking for someone to give a hug. The stretching ability would probably help for climbing walls too.
1Albinauric
E.T. 2: The Lands Between
Topping our list of cutest characters are the Albinaurics, the adorable Frankenstein’s Monsters that just look like they need a hug. Appearing as some kind of cross between a blobfish, an alien and a peaceful monk, the Albinaurics are surprisingly as agile as they are adorable.
These guys are battle-ready and know how to fight while having a good time, throwing out cartwheels with a velocity nearing Torrent’s top speed. And to top it off, we can tell that they’re more than capable of love. Why do you think they’re always so closely surrounded by friends?
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